While talking to a friend the other day, I came up with a lame excuse on why I enjoy cigarettes. I said it’s because it ‘simulates successive sighing.’ And mumbled something about barely having time to sigh.
We had a mtg with the NBI team last night assigned to the case of Alexis -at the last minute, for whatever reason (a valid one I believe) it was cancelled. I was dreading that sit-down thing again. I didn’t want to do the charade again. But I cannot in my heart skip those sessions either. We gather ’round the agents again, who are just as stumped as we are. Today marks one year and six months since Alexis and Nika were murdered. A lot of things are happening in the halls of Congress what with all the bills that need to be passed and the clamors for impeachment for this and that. While we friends quietly watched the Oscars with the right amount of snark (to humor our old friend) and endure the film critiques without Alexis nor Nika to discuss them with.
Friends quietly wait for days when they will no longer feel anything upon remembering dead friends. I wonder if finding the murderers and bringing them to (so-called) justice will ease anything? I’m not sure, to be honest, but it certainly is not as sharp as this periodic thud we feel everytime our hearts beat while his ceased to – a year and six months ago.
Unfortunately, this justice system thing is not business to me – this is personal.
And Christ, I need to sigh.
In case you have no idea. Read: The Death of Alexis Tioseco.