Note: This is a fictional letter based on true comments of real people. It is a combination of many tweets, emails and text messages sent through Rock Ed Radio’s online accounts. email@example.com, twitter.com/rockedradio and NUMSG (space) 29107 every Thursday 9pm on NU107. Please pardon the shifts in person, many lines are direct quotes from messages. It is not the political stand of one person and views expressed here are not necessarily the writer’s and especially NOT of the radio station that houses Rock Ed Radio.
Dear Presidential Candidate and the ad agencies engaged in their campaigns-
Just to be clear: Walang Catholic vote, wala rin yatang youth bloc vote. Pero merong UNDECIDED vote.
Keep us in mind. We belong to those defunct categories instead and more.
We could be the ones who admired the heroism of Ninoy Aquino and appreciate the sacrifices of President Cory but don’t know Noynoy and his track record. And we refuse to vote out of habit or emotional attachment. I’m sure you wouldn’t want an “O sige na nga” vote either. (Please don’t.) So tell us more about yourself, Noynoy and who (if there is someone) holds your hand.
We can also be the ones who know Manny Villar and admire his accomplishments but want him to clear his name. Actually we’re waiting for you to respond to the Winnie Monsod explanation. Lagi bang tama si Winnie Monsod? Kung mali siya, go! Okey lang makipag-bakbakan. That’s not un-gentlemanly—it is though to snob a lady demanding an explanation. Hintayin namin, Sir. Please? Just a rebuttal – pa-one time ka naman. Mas madali ‘to kesa magpasko mag isa sa kalye o maligo sa dagat ng … hehe, peace. Ang ganda ng jingle kasi. LSS winner. (Please give your ad agency a bonus—a definite stroke of great poetry. Left the listener with a visual of you swimming in trash, but retained the cherubic glow in your features. Can’t beat that.) Okay sige, partidaˆ—deyn mo na pansinin Senado, okey lang yon, pero si Mareng Winnie? Dyahe naman, nagpagawa pa ng graphics. And I like my president to stand up in face of adversity and be able to take it. Not run away.
Many of us are also the ones who think Gibo is eloquent and graceful and sure-footed, smart and the most self-possessed and poised, not to mention the bar topnotching thang. But many also think the GMA connection, the Coco Levy involvement, the NDCC no-rubber-boat reality, PLUS the DND role in the Ampatuan arms supply should be explained a bit more. You can do it! Sulong Gibo! (palayo sa admin) Oh and just a tip: for every, “I refuse to answer that question” you leave many of us to conclude the WORST. So go! Answer the questions. You can do it, Harvard chap. You have the strongest power of persuasion. I mean it. (PS: Did your Edu really design Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles?)
A number of us think BAM! Gordon is a fantastic administrator. No doubt. Yes, we think of Subic and the followed STOP signs. Every single time you mention Subic, we take a vodka shot. Salud! But we are also afraid that being inflexible and stubborn (euphemized, yes) is something to worry about. And we want to know if based on surveys you are not winnable. Will I not waste my vote (and thin out our 2nd choice) if we gave our vote to you? Would you consider backing out and endorsing someone instead? Could be anyone. Long shot, I know – because you are known for your focus and determination. And your eye is always on the prize. So, yes…. Mr. Gordon, Red Cross man, HELP! (PS: Ba’t Silent Night?)
Some of us think JC is this pure of heart creature, so naive, looks, sounds and IS so young. But sometimes the monomaniacal focus on God isolates him from the questions that cover many OTHER Filipinos. In other words, JC you feel so far from us sinners, that we’re afraid your evangelical zeal and all its trumpets will drown out the pulse of those of us not as concerned with religion. That’s a dangerous state of affairs. But don’t get me wrong, we do like you a lot. Sincerity is rare in this day and age, but WOW on that charts YOU ARE IT. But alas. Wait, can you be open-minded? Does the separation of church and state ring a bell? Jesus himself declared it and St. Augustine pursued it as a matter of doctrine? Will you be open to consider the priorities of even— *gasp*— non-believers, freethinkers and those of different religions? Please say yes. Oh, is it true that your VP running mate is part of a dynasty in Laguna? Just curious. Is he as religious as you? And last—is Richard Gordon REALLY your Uncle?! Man, ang layo.
So – where were we?
Ah! We are also the ones who trust that Bro. Eddie is a good man, we’d go as far as saying he is a good leader … but many of us also are aware that if you lost an election once, statistically… boom, it’s over. Abraham Lincoln is a rarity, so maybe that card can’t be pulled out on this one. This is not a biased take, Bro…. this is a just comment from many of us who were taught to occasionally trust statistics. Bro. Eddie! Kaya ba talaga? You’ve convinced an entire movement – you can still convince the undecided. (PS: By the way, Gloc 9, good choice.)
We are the ones who think Nick Perlas is a great man. A very capable man, we want to see him in government someday making big fiscal decisions for our environment but realize that to become president, unfortunately time ticks and so many other factors have to come into play—especially since there are 7K islands. It’s hard to get his name out. If I were his publicist he should say something wild against Willie Revillame so that ALL the papers will cover him, then BAM—no more oblivion. But I don’t know. Bilib ako kay Perlas talaga, pero …ewan, teka… Sir, convince me, especially in the light of all these surveys, that my vote will not be a push for another candidate to the fore of the list. Hay ang hirap nito. HELP! I like you, you know…it’s not you…it’s me. Parang break-up ‘to….Nick, help. *sniff* Again, it’s the damn survey thing that gets in the way of the Nick vote….and can you believe? The very real fear of cheating. Wow, where did that come from? Hel-low Gar-ciiii!
Anyway, last -we are also the ones who want to ask Jamby and Erap, “Why? No. Really. Why?”
As you can tell, we are so tippable to one or the other side- to YOUR side! Yes you can.
Win us over, please. Dazzle us. We only have a couple of months. We hope to decide by the start of April so we have at least a month to rah-rah you on and fight with other anonymous people on the internet on your behalf.
I wonder if that’s possible? Help us out here. Give us something.
The Undecided Bloc
Illustration: The Hill on my Head by S. Stella, her copyright.